Trust me...

I'm not sure where to start on this one... Basically I have trust problems with my boyfriend. After about a year it has been really hard for me to fully take that leap of faith and completely trust him. Granted, this hesitation isn't unwarranted: he has a history of cheating. I honestly believe that he has never cheated on me. We lived together over the summer and it was incredible. We had so much fun and co-inhabited really well. When we're apart is when I get worried. He is doing a lot to try and prove to me that he is changed, and that I'm the one who finally changed him. But at the end of the day, I can't help but think 'why me?' He reassures me, and I'm getting there.

That being said, tonight he went out with his office whom are all young guys that are starting out as stock traders. For their Christmas party they went into the city for dinner and drinks....aaaaand the strip club. If any girl tells you that her man going to a strip club doesn't bother her she is flat out lying. Unless she strips. In this case, the situation wasn't really avoidable for him. Basically, he is so heart set on proving to me he's a good guy that he texted me telling me where he was, and that he wasn't that into it and kind of took a back seat while the other guys had their fun. After, he said the guys were all making fun of him chiding that I have him wrapped around my finger.

I'm stuck here. I love that he's proving to me that I'm more of a priority than previous relationships, and it's really helping me trust him. At the same time I want him to have fun with his friends, and now fear that they dislike me because they think I am controlling. I didn't tell him or even ask him to not get involved, he did it himself, for me. What do I do? How can I have my cake and eat it too here? And how can he do the same? I want him to have fun with his friends without them thinking I'm playing puppeteer. HELP!

Thanksgiving - Which Family?

So I was just sitting at home with my family and came up with a good blog idea. Holidays in a relationship, where are they spent?

I happen to have a very small family. My dad's parents moved down to Florida, we are still on Long Island in New York. His brother, my uncle moved down to Florida about 15 years ago, and passed away 5 years ago. My mom's mom is still on Long Island as well, but she splits the holidays between here and in North Carolina where my mom's sister, my aunt has lived for 5 years, after living in Florida for 10 years. My brother is a year older than me, 24, and lives upstate, New York. He comes home occasionally, when he is not working.

So, when I got a girlfriend 5 months ago, I thought Holidays would be a little busier. I was wrong. I guess the reason is because we are both away at college still, so when we are home, we try to spend time with the family. I invited my girlfriend over for Thanksgiving, but she was having it with her family. I wonder if this is normal, or what other couples do. I assume they usually either split Holidays by year, or for bigger holidays do one night at each family's. I really wish she was able to come over, but I understand the situation. She has come over for holidays before, she came here for the Jewish Holidays in September. It was very nice to have her here and be able to share it with her and my family, and to give them time to bond more with each other. It was also on a break from school, but one that was a little longer; also, she is not Jewish, so I guess  that's why it was easier.

Either way, I really wish I could spend the holiday with her, I miss her a lot. Hopefully I will get the invitation to her place for Christmas, and hopefully she will be able to spend a night or two here for Hanukkah.

'The Situation' and Bristol Palin Talk Sex - Kind of Ironic. Don't you think?

Am I missing something? How is Bristol Palin talking about abstinence?

Hope you enjoyed the video!

Taking a Break - A request from one of our visitors

Hi everyone!

Sorry for the lack of posting in the last week or so. Jess has been busy with work before having her surgery  Friday. I just finished two papers for school, one was 30 pages, one was 6. It's been pretty crazy!

So we received a comment on one of our posts last week from a Venus Vs. Mars visitor!! They had a request for us for a blog topic. Here is what they wrote:

"Dear Jared & Jess,

I'm finding your blog entries very interesting but I was wondering how you would feel about both answering this question. "What defines "taking a break" from your significant other?" What should the terms be, why are they set, should there be a set of rules or should it just be totally free? Like should the couple be allowed to hook up, see, or talk to anyone else in the pursuit of seeing what else is out there?

I thought this would be a good blog to see both your answers. Thank you for taking the time to read and perhaps consider a response."

Personally, I did a break once, and it ended terribly. I think a break is ultimately saying, I want to cheat on you, but I don't want it to be counted as cheating. In most cases. However, for some couples it might be good. Maybe they smother each other or need some time to re-evaluate the relationship and what they need from it.
I would specify whether seeing and hooking up with other people is acceptable first and foremost. I think this can be really touchy. If it is okay with both of you, then thats fine, if not- it needs to be stated. I had a friend who went on a break after two years for about a week or so, and he hooked up with someone else, she didn't. They got back together and she found out a few months later, and she was completely devastated. It ruined their relationship, because they weren't clear about it.
In the end you just need to be honest about your expectations with the break. If you want a break longer than two weeks, I'd say you really just want out totally. So be honest with yourself and significant other, and make a real guideline, rules of communication, other people, and a set date of when you will communicate about getting back together. If you don't say "let's talk next saturday about how we feel about the relationship" then you could think next saturday, and they think three months from now.
Use your time wisely! Really evaluate your relationship and if you're getting what you want out of it. But more importantly, I think people forget to evaluate whether or not they are giving what the other person wants. You can demand a million things, but are you willing to give a million?

Keeping up With the...

I recently watched an episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians, where an old picture of Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, and their father Robert Kardashian(defending attorney at for OJ Simpson) flashed onscreen of them at an awards ceremony. I was astounded. Kim looked COMPLETELY different. She has definitely had plastic surgery on her face. To each his own, usually, but recently, she was in a magazine flaunting how she doesn't need make-up. Give me a break, of course you don't need make-up. I would certainly hope not after the thousands you've invested in fixing your face. Would guys really rather a girl that is completely fake, or someone that has imperfections but is 100% natural? I'm all about being naturally beautiful- and that doesn't mean perfect either.
I am personally going to be under the knife exactly one week from today, because I was in a cheerleading accident in which my nose was broken and the valve allowing airflow in and out collapsed. The surgery in non-cosmetic and covered 100% by my insurance, because not being able to breath out of my nose combined with asthma is no picnic.
That being said, I'm really concerned about people seeing me as "fake" afterward. The surgery is necessary, and my appearance should only change very slightly, in that my nose will assume the way it looked (hopefully!) before the injury.
I'm not a fan of people who alter their appearance because they're not happy with what God gifted them, especially when they flaunt how much prettier they are than everyone else afterward! )cough- heidi pratt- cough! Am I alone here? Just being a girl? Or do guys agree? Or are looks really that important??

Cute Dog Doing Daily Chores

No words are needed from me. Just that this is the cutest, most amazing dog I have ever seen. Take a look!

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=437918273950

Lets get you guys to start commenting!!

A little poem....

I was searching some other blogs about relationships today. I was looking for ways to make Venus Vs. Mars better: ideas about what to write, layout of the blogs, set up, etc.

I came across this post and absolutely love it. Its a poem, which I think exemplifies my relationship with my amazing girlfriend. It is obviously romantic and cute, but also has little things that her and I do that make me think of her when I read it.

I know I'm in love when ...

Sometimes I just want to look at him.
Touch his cheek with my hand.
Smell his hair
Tug his nose with my fingers.
I caress one eyebrow with my thumb
Admire his tiny ears.
He sits quietly.

Sometimes I just want to look at him;
At the creases in his skin.
Feel the texture of his hair.
Appreciate the pores on his nose
stroke the downy hair on his ear lobes.
And say not a word.

Sometimes I just want to look at him;
I watch how he does things.
The manner in which he places his foot on the ground.
Cradle the marks that life have left.
We are silent.
I want nothing more than his company.

I have a lot of fun with my girlfriend, we are very playful. We like to be active; walks on the beach/boardwalk, walks in the park, go to a corn maze, concerts, movies, dinners, games at our school, etc. But what reading this has proven to me, something which I always knew, is that its not what you're doing, or the money you spend, rather it is the time you are spending and the person that you are spending it with. All I need sometimes is someone whose way with words can share what I feel.


Yes, I know it talks about a boy. And yes I am talking about my girlfriend. Just use your imagination to change the words from he to she :)